A Father’s Love

A son asked his father, ‘Dad, will you take part in a marathon with me?’

The father who, despite having a heart condition, says ‘Yes’.

They went on to complete the marathon together.

Father and son went on to join other marathons, the father always saying ‘Yes’ to his son’s request of going through the race together.

One day, the son asked his father, ‘Dad, let’s join the Ironman together.’

To which, his father said ‘Yes’.

For those who don’t know, Ironman is the toughest triathlon ever. The race encompasses three endurance events of a 2.4 mile (3.86 kilometer) ocean swim, followed by a 112 mile (180 .2 kilometer) bike ride, and ending with a 26.2 mile (42.195 kilometer) marathon along the coast of the Big Island.

Father and son went on to complete the race together.

The Post Turtle

Had a co-worker tell me this one and had to post it for all to enjoy!

While suturing a cut on the hand of a 75-year-old Texas rancher whose hand was caught in a gate while working cattle, the doctor struck up a conversation with the old man. Eventually the topic got around to Obama and his bid to be our President.

The old rancher said, “Well, ya know, Obama is a “post turtle.”

Not being familiar with the term, the doctor asked him what a “post turtle” was.

The old rancher said, “When you’re driving down a country road and you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that’s a “post turtle”.

The old rancher saw a puzzled look on the doctor’s face, so he continued to explain. “You know he didn’t get up there by himself, he doesn’t belong up there, he doesn’t know what to do while he is up there, and you just wonder what kind of a dumby put him up there.”

 

Hope for His Servants

I was doing my daily Bible reading today and came across some verses that I just had to read again:

35. ‘Vengeance is Mine, and retribution, In due time their foot will slip ; For the day of their calamity is near, And the impending things are hastening upon them.’
36. “For the LORD will vindicate His people, And will have compassion on His servants, When He sees that their strength is gone, And there is none remaining, bond or free.
37. “And He will say, ‘Where are their gods, The rock in which they sought refuge ?
38. ‘Who ate the fat of their sacrifices, And drank the wine of their drink offering ? Let them rise up and help you, Let them be your hiding place !
39. ‘See now that I, I am He, And there is no god besides Me; It is I who put to death and give life. I have wounded and it is I who heal, And there is no one who can deliver from My hand.
40. ‘Indeed, I lift up My hand to heaven, And say, as I live forever,
41. If I sharpen My flashing sword, And My hand takes hold on justice, I will render vengeance on My adversaries, And I will repay those who hate Me.
42. ‘I will make My arrows drunk with blood, And My sword will devour flesh, With the blood of the slain and the captives, From the long-haired leaders of the enemy.’
43. “Rejoice, O nations, with His people ; For He will avenge the blood of His servants, And will render vengeance on His adversaries, And will atone for His land and His people.”

— Deuteronomy 32: 35-43 (NASB)

Happy Father’s Day

A FATHER IS A SOURCE OF STRENGTH

A father is a source of strength,
A teacher and a guide,
The one his family looks up to
With loving trust and pride…
A father is a helper
With a willing hand to lend,
A partner, an adviser,
And the finest kind of friend

A FATHER…

A father is respected because
He gives his children leadership…
Appreciated because
He gives his children care…
Valued because
He gives his children time…
Loved because
He gives his children the one thing
They treasure most, himself.

The righteous man walks in his integrity;
His children are blessed after him.
–PROVERBS 20:7

UPS Airlines

Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one; a reassurance for those of us who fly routinely in our jobs.

After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a ‘gripe sheet,’ which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS’ pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.

By the way, UPS is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident.

—————————————————————

P: Left inside main tire! almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P : Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That’s what friction locks are for.

P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you’re right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

And the best one for last…

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road

This one makes the rounds every presidential election. Whoever starts it gets it right!

DR. PHIL:
The problem we have here is that this chicken won’t realize that he must first deal with the problem on ‘THIS’ side of the road before it goes after the problem on the ‘OTHER SIDE’ of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he’s acting by not taking on his ‘CURRENT’ problems before adding ‘NEW’ problems.

OPRAH:
Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I’m going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

BARACK OBAMA:
The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE!

JOHN MC CAIN:
My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

HILLARY CLINTON:
When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure — right from Day One! — that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn’t about me…….

GEORGE W. BUSH:
We don’t really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

COLIN POWELL:
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

ANDERSON COOPER – CNN:
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

JOHN KERRY:
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken ‘s intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

NANCY GRACE:
That chicken crossed the road because he’s GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN:
To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART:
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer’s Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS:
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I’ve not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die in the rain. Alone.

JERRY FALWELL:
Because the chicken was gay! Can’t you people see the plain truth?’ That’s why they call it the ‘other side. ‘Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like ‘ the other side.’ That chicken should not be crossing the road. It’s as plain and as simple as that.

GRANDPA:
In my day we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS:
Isn’t that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming story of how itexperienced a serious case of molting and went on to ccomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE:
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

JOHN LENNON:
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

BILL GATES:
I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of the Chicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra…#@&&^(C% ………reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN:
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

AL SHARPTON:
Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.

BILL CLINTON:
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

AL GORE:
I invented the chicken!

COLONEL SANDERS:
Did I miss one?

DICK CHENEY:
Where’s my gun?

Dumbing Down Our Children

People often ask me why I choose to spend thousands of dollars a year to send my daughter to a private school, rather than sending her to the government schools and using that money for our enjoyment. If you have ever read your local newspaper about what goes on in your local government schools, you understand why it is a bad idea to turn your children over to the government for education.

Here is an example from the Nashville, TN, government schools. This decision no longer allows the smarter middle school children to take high school math classes in middle school. They would like to have those students repeat material they already know rather than learn new material.

Before you think that this is an isolated incident, guess again. This type of decision is being played out in some way or another in every school district in the nation. These decisions affect the children long after they have left school. For an example of this you only need to go as far as your local DMV office and see that the tests have to be in multiple languages because our schools chose to not challenge the students to learn English, the international language of business.

Being the father of a strong-willed, intelligent child, the last thing I want is for my child to be dumbed-down. As with most intelligent children, if she is not challenged she will get bored. When she is bored she will get in trouble. This does not benefit her, the teacher, the school or society in general.

Is it worth it to give up some of the material things of this world in order for her to get a good education? You bet! We find that we are just as happy with what we have, knowing that we are doing what is right.