Southern Home Security System

How To Install A Southern Home Security System
  1. Go to Goodwill and buy a pair of size 14 -16 men’s work boots.
  2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo Magazine.
  3. Put four giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.
  4. Leave a note on your door that reads ……
 
Bubba,
 
Bertha, Duke, Slim & I went for more ammo and beer. Be back in an hour. Don’t mess with the pit bulls.  They got the mailman this morning and messed him up bad. I don’t think Killer took part, but it was hard to tell from all the blood.  Anyway, I locked all four of ’em in the house. Better wait outside. Be right back.
 
Cooter