How Long Is Shortly?

We’ve all heard those “Greatest Lies Ever Told.” (Apologies to Fulton Oursler!) You know, the ones like “The check’s in the mail” and “I’m from the government and I’m here to help.” Then there’s the lesser known ones like “But honey, I’m only going to buy a couple things” and “The tow truck will be there in 15 and 50 minutes.”

I propose that a new one be added to the list: “A representative will be with you shortly.” We’ve all been on hold at some point in our lives and heard the recording of the nice, usually female, voice that breaks in to the on-hold music and says: “Your call is important to us. Please hold and a representative will be with your shortly.” Although the exact wording may vary slightly, they all pretty much follow the same script. I call foul on them all!

Almost 15 years ago we moved into our new house. We had the house wired for security and shortly after moving in, we had ADT come and install a system for us. After a few years, we were sick of the high price and the lousy service and switched to Checkpoint Services. A few years after that, they were purchased by Brinks Security, who, after a few years, spun that division off into a wholly-owned subsidiary call Broadview Security. Well, when that happened we knew what was coming next and it happened, Broadview Security was sold to ADT.

Now, we’re back where we started again. Shortly after taking over, ADT couldn’t resist and increased the rates. With nowhere to go, we had no choice to put up with it. Recently, we accepted an offer on our house and the one thing I was the happiest about was getting rid of ADT. I called and arranged to have our service canceled. However, a few weeks later, the deal fell through.

So, here we were, having to call them back up and cancel our “cancellation.” You would expect that this would be a simple process, if I could get a hold of someone to talk to. Over the course of a day, I spent almost two hours on the phone, waiting for a chance to speak to “an associate.” This was over the course of three attempts. The first attempt I gave up after 45 minutes and the other two attempts I gave up after 30 minutes. On each of the calls, they played the same song (only one) and it was only interrupted by that friendly female voice every 90 seconds reminding me that “an associate will be with your shortly.”

After a day of frustrations, I finally took to the ADT web site and filled out the contact form. I selected “Moving” from the list of departments to contact and told them briefly (I was limited to 250 characters) of what I wanted. About 10 minutes after we activated the alarm that evening to go out to run some errands, ADT calls back. (My daughter believes they waited for this to happen before they called!) Was it a call to handle my cancellation issue? Nope, they were calling me to try to sell me a system.

So, not only does there not appear to be anyone working in the ADT “Moving Department,” they also don’t appear to have anyone that can read the contact request properly. I guess I shouldn’t expect anything more considering the state of our <sarcasm> wonderful </sarcasm> government educational systems.

Time to make a phone call again….and wait on hold. If I go crazy, you’ll know it’s because they’re still playing that same song…over…and over…and over…and over…

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